We can choose a living or a deceased person as a role model, in both cases it is important to have enough information about the one's personality. We analyze the personality traits of the chosen role model, just as we did for ourselves, and decide which personality traits we would like to replace with the personality traits of the role model in us. We can do this with several role models. Exceptionally, we can may identify with the whole personality of a single role model, but be careful, because perfection is rare and we should not copy others' mistakes unnecessarily, but learn from them. 

It is not advisable to choose a role model from the media. On the one hand, media stars are themselves paper masks, created characters, they are not themselves, they play a chosen role. This role often has no connection with their own personality, which, in many cases, they do not even realize. The biggest problem of our time is that to find a role model whose personality fits into contemporary society is becoming increasingly difficult, so let us walk carefully in the world and, if we are really looking for a role model, our paths will cross those of someone who can serve as a role model for us. 

The most fortunate case is when we find a self-realized master (guru) with whom we can fully identify. In this case, we can take on the personality traits of our role model, but don't be surprised if our "master" guides us on his/her own path, because he/she cannot do anything else. If we have any doubts about whether we have made the right choice, we should simply change role models. 

Let us never forget that our personality (astral and mental body) is really just our clothing, and that the essential part of us is our own ideal Self and our true guide isn't programmable. We only need to correct our personality in order to successfully achieve the Over self and to integrate more easily into society. 

Saints can be good role models provided they have reached a state of perfection. If we choose a saint as a role model, we should study his/her life before deciding. In this case, it is right not to immediately take in his/her personality traits, but merely to use meditation with him/her as a guide when we have doubt about the rightness of our actions. If, on the other hand, we decide to adopt his/her personality traits, then don't be surprised if we are unable to fit into society. Therefore, we should only do so when we are ready to retreat from our social obligations and have already arranged everything accordingly. 

In today's age, many people want to achieve some kind of spiritual realization, but many people miss the aim. The most common mistake is to start without suitable training and education, self-knowledge and consequently knowledge of others and the path. The most typical spiritual and religious groups:

I. Average educated, easily enthused, believers who are dazzled by the sounding, slogan-based and/or scientific-sounding teachings and knowledge of a guru from far away (it's essential to be foreigner). 

What needs to be noticed:

- Slogans such as "You are perfect, because God does not create imperfect." The point here is that you don't have to do anything to achieve perfection, just go to his courses and lectures.

- Questions cannot be ask, or if it can, explanations are omitted or meaningless; the questioner is mocked or embarrassed.

- The guru feels empowered to override accepted scriptural rules - that people don't like to follow anyway - with popular claims, and explain why that rule is outdated.

- Scientific claims are based on half-truths, unproven and unprovable, lacking logical reasoning, or outright scientific sounding gibberish that the public doesn't understand a word of, but sounds very good, and no one dares to say these are stupidity, because how embarrassing that would be...

- After a while, believers become attached to the guru, they feel a constant urge to go to the course, to go to the lecture, if they don't go they feel they are missing from something, if they go they feel they are participant of a big thing.

- It lacks philosophical grounding. 

II. Average literate, easily enthused, devout people who blindly follow a guru from far away (or at home) who has a certain partial knowledge, perhaps trained abroad. A common characteristic of this group is that they take very seriously the things; they undertake renunciations, penances; practice and meditate beyond their means etc., and after a while they become unable to integrate into society. They can't live with others, breathe the same air, lose their jobs, become impoverished, drift to the periphery, lose contact with their families, etc. The guru either takes this as natural or ignores it, or it is arranged saying: this is your karma. 

What should be apparent at least to the guru is that the disciples have automatically taken up his chakra and energy system, even though they are not yet at the stage of spiritual development. The guru may have given up everything, but his disciples have families, jobs, social obligations to attend to, and they have time later to retire from society (if they want to). This situation isolates them from society, so that they cannot influence it. They cannot pass on the knowledge they have acquired to those around them, nor do they show love or tolerance for other members of society, which is cannot be the goal of any path to God. 

III. People of average education, easily enthused, believers or, on the contrary, disillusioned people who drift. In fact, they are looking for community, but cannot find it, so they are drawn to spiritual groups. Community has no real purpose, just to have fun, to do something special. Let's invoke spirits, angels or whoever, we don't know who's coming anyway. The point is that we are more evolved than other people. We are descendants of the 'such-and-such' nation, into this term we can insert at will any historical (preferably extinct), spiritual (or perceived to be) people group. This is particularly popular in Hungary, because there is no other nation who has so many ancestors as we have. 

What it should be noticed: there is no serious teaching here, there are programs, festivals, everything is included. Especially the various masters, seers, helpers, healers, prophets, who provide services to the credulous participants who don't have and can't have much of an idea, who these people are, where they belong, what they represent. But at least there is democracy, from shaman through witch to astrologer, everyone fits in the group and everyone helps those who turn to them, in anything. 

IV. Average literate, believing people with a great sense of mission, who want to save the world (e.g. Hungary) from darkness, evil, disaster, doomsday, etc. Also, descendants of the 'such-and-such' nation, mostly thinking of themselves as possessors of special knowledge, power, etc. However, since they do not share this knowledge and power with others, it cannot turn out that their knowledge and power are not special at all. Of course, the leader of such a group can only be a possessor of special knowledge and power, who has secret and diversified connections, which are so secret that it cannot be ascertained. 

What should be apparent that all is in connection with power; with the exercising power over others (people, groups, nations), ordering the things of the world according to God's will, which is here understood in a particular way according to the will of the personal leader. It is also striking that everything is strictly secret and confidential, the participants observe each other, report on each other. The result of this strict secrecy is to present another image to the outside world, which leads to common lies, compounded by distrust of outsiders and of each other. 

The above list is a non-exhaustive one, which highlights the main features using locally sharp expressions. A spiritual community may have characteristics of several groups. The seeker must therefore choose from these communities according to his/her best judgement. Since there is something to learn from each, it is worthwhile to experience and study the inner workings of several communities. Before anyone concludes that, wow, what a world this is, I state, the world has never been better or worse, and communities have not functioned differently, because they have always reflected the imperfections of human nature.
 

But let's get back to the search for a role model, which is not easy after all. My general suggestions:

- Don't choose a role model who is out of your reach at first, progress gradually, once you have approached a role model, change to a higher level.
- Don't choose a role model as a first choice who was not able to fit into society (e.g. retreated saints), only if you yourself are ready to withdraw from society.
- Don't choose a role model who you can't love or accept wholeheartedly, because you cannot follow him/her and love is the greatest driving force in following a role model. 

Margaret Rhasoda-Varga
UCCM head-master
(The art of living life I. excerpt)