Before I get into the story, I note that I write nothing accidentally; all my writing has my own experience as a germ. From this germ unfolds the thought process. The germ of the following story is a conversation with two of my fellow poets, which took its final form in the course of processing. The two separate experiences were condensed into a single event, as they both revealed the same internal energetic structure. 

For literary people, hopefully the Faust name will mean something, but as the symbolism of the story is not likely to be clear to everyone, I will briefly outline the essence of the story in my reading. Faust, the magician, toys with the forces of darkness, wandering the pathless ways of his own unpurified subconscious, while imagines himself as a master. Meanwhile, the holy and pure woman Margarita appears, whose overwhelming love redeems Faust from his own darkness. This archetypal male-female relationship pattern is so deeply ingrained into the subconscious of those who living in Christian culture that it is unconsciously present in the everyday world, where the man expects the woman to cleanse him of the daily mud of life (accept him inside and outtside as dirty and filthy as he is, keep him clean in all aspects of life, etc.), and she imagines that he will be changed by her love (no more drinking, no more fighting, no more swearing, goes on the straight, etc.). 

The only problem with this pattern of relationship is that it never had a basis in reality; it is a fiction that emerged from Goethe's subconscious desire and is in fact a symbolic description of an inner process. And the essence of the inner process is that the holy and pure FEMALE is nothing but kundalini shakti. The redeeming feminine quality that cleanses from all impurities, the rise of this power brings the man to his desired divine quality, agape, all-overwhelming love, tantric oneness with woman, with god, with everything that exists. The projection of this inner process is the reason why the man looks to an external person, the woman, for purification, for ascension, for the appearance of all-overcoming, redeeming love in his life. 

Let us see what would happen if there was an incarnate woman capable of this redemptive process, who would represent such a level that she could raise the man to the divine heights by the power of her love, and he would be enlightened in one fell swoop and at the same time experience the most phenomenal sensation of love? Such a woman is a crystal-clear lake, a mirror of water, devoid of emotional ripples, yet her touch gives off the highest vibrations: the tremors and resonance of a heightened desire for the experience of oneness. The man goes to the shore of the lake:

- Please, take me into yourself, purify me with your love by the experience of oneness with you!

- All right, but then completely immerse yourself in me, give up your limitations, let me into yourself until the inner water is completely exchanged for the outer water in you, and these two are no longer distinguishable.

- I thought, I'd just stick my dick into the water... and after I made myself come and let my darkness - which was unbearable even to myself - into you, I'd go on to be free to do what I've been doing.

The lake says no. What could she answer? Tantric love, agape, requires the fulfillment of a single condition, which is aptly expressed in the Sufi saying, "If you come with me, I will go with you...". Thus, seemingly, the woman remains alone, but only on this terrestial plane. For the woman, an opportunity to move on to another dimension may open up, where she can find an entity who satisfies this condition. Or on this plane, she can realise Ardhanarishwar Shiva, the Siva Shakti unity within herself, which outside corresponds to the neutral gender, and inside it is the experience of the total unity with her own energetic qualities.

Margaret Rhasoda Varga
UCCM head-master
2022. Budapest, Hungary