A significant number of people practice self-destruction on an artistic level, and even take pride in it. Of course, they are not responsible for anything either, since everything that happens to them is the result of a miserable interplay of external circumstances. The problem is that nobody cares about this excuse. From whom do the self-destructives expect their fate to change for better? Perhaps from Santa Claus, or from the good fairies, or perhaps from God. I'll explain why that's not possible. 

The first method of self-destruction is when someone underestimates oneself: 'I'm no good at anything, I can't do this, I won't survive this...' But the reality is that one never encounters a task for which one would not be prepared in principle. But people motivated by fear would rather avoid the task than face the test. The joke is that if they got started, they would get help immediately, and they would be able to tackle the task, if not on the first attempt, then repeatedly, and emerge from the situation with a newfound confidence, a stronger self-knowledge, and the ability to take on more serious tasks. Not to mention that they would feel more comfortable in their own skin and in the world. 

The second method is when someone distances themselves from the task: "I hate this, I don't want to do it, I always get the dirty job, I'd rather put it off until tomorrow, let someone else do it..." in fact he/she knows he/she has to do it and he/she will it, but he/she suffers a little in it, expressing his/her dislike of the activity. The disadvantage of this is that resistance consumes energy, which can make you terribly tired in the performance of the task. And then you can go on crying about how tiring the work is. No action is lower or dirtier than any other. We classify the activities to be such as such. Take the case of someone is sewer cleaner. Wow! Now that's a dirty job. Why? Every person usually wipe their ass once a day, if they have small children or elderly relatives then do their too. The management of metabolic waste is a particularly important activity for society. But if someone belittles himself/herself for this, society will show him/her the same back signal to recognise the shortcomings of his/her approach. If something has to be done, do it cheerfully, because then the time goes better and you don't get so tired of it. And if you don't like it, change it, find something else to do. If you can't find another, then this remains your job. 

I used to act by listening. I see a task coming up. I keep watching. If I see someone reaches after it, I'll leave it. If I see that the task is passing by me, I let it. And if the task stops in front of me and doesn't want to move away, I do it. It is true that in this way I get the activities that others have refused, but in every case I am better off than those who have turned away from the task. That is why I am regarded as someone who can "make gold out of turd". Work is play! If you play it, it requires no effort. It makes your life easy and relaxed. You laugh at it all and therefore others are happy to come and play with you because life seems easier with you. 

The third method of self-destruction is when someone belittles the other person: 'You don't know how to do this, it's not for you, you're not capable, you don't have the talent, knowledge or experience.' These are the words used to brush aside the opinions of women, children, employees, the less educated, the elderly, etc., by those who imagine themselves superior. What will the consequences be? "I have to do everything, because nobody can do anything!" Surprising? Behind this attitude lies a distancing from the other person and his/her particular way of looking at things. So here the self-destructive distances himself/herself not from the task at hand, but from the other person who (in his/her own way) wants to help. The point here is that since he/she knows everything better, he/she can only accept as a helper someone who thinks exactly like him/her. And therein lies the fallacy. Because he/she sticks to his/her own ideas, he/she refuses to see the potential in the ideas of others. The other person's idea may be flawed and impractical, but there may be a tiny kernel of ideas that would move forward the matter after integration. As a result, everyone would feel better, become useful member of a community, and the community would move forward. In other words, the real teamwork is not a virtue of the know-it-alls. Yes, because it requires humility, putting the individual in the background. This is the secret of success in Far Eastern cultures. 

Then there was only one request left. Why does God beat some nation (e.g. Hungarians)? What do you do with your child if he/she hasn't learned his/her lesson for the umpteenth time? If you really love your child, you teach him/her to learn, to solve problems, to work hard, to face challenges, in short, you teach him/her to be independent. If you don't, he/she freeloads on you in your old age. 

God is wiser than you. God does not beat you with a stick, only with fate. He says, "I have given to all men strength from my strength, wisdom from my wisdom, knowledge from my knowledge. Exactly enough to enable you to do your tasks. I expect no more, only this. If someone does not live with this, he/she has denied Me and evething that I AM in him/her. That is, for him/her I do not exist." And if for someone God does not exist, then there is no one who can help him/her, because everyone is preoccupied with himself/herself, and this is most typical of those who are self-destructive. 

All suffering, all difficulties, we create for ourselves. This material world was not created for us by God, but we created it for ourselves so. The world that God has created for us, our real home, is prepared, but only those who have learned the law of creation and interaction here, in the material world can enter it. The self-destructors do not want to know these laws, so they do not deserve the divine realm until they are able to cure themselves of self-deception.

Margaret Rhasoda-Varga
UCCM head-master
(The sky touches the earth, excerpt)